OUR NEW ABNORMAL

For months I’ve been hearing the phrase new normal. I don’t like that idiom. I don’t know about you, but I was blissfully comfortable in my old normal. Am I the only one who feels this way?

The expression is being used in relation to Covid-19. It’s as if the media wants us to believe our new normal includes living in constant fear of this unseen enemy and wearing a mask for the rest of our lives. If that’s what is required for this new way of living, I’d just as soon see the Lord return and take us out of here. A life without human contact is not a life at all.

Today as I thought about this phrase new normal, I thought of my family. One day, America will return to a non-mask-wearing normal, but for my family, our new normal is better defined as abnormal. It’s not normal for a 49-year-old healthy woman to die suddenly with no warning. It’s not normal for a mother to bury her child. It’s not normal for children to lose a parent at such a young age. It’s not normal for grandchildren to lose both grandmothers within a six-week period of time. Nothing, NOTHING, about this new way of living is normal.

On August 22, 2020, abnormal shoved normal aside for us, and I’m not happy about it. I don’t like it at all. Unfortunately, denying its reality doesn’t erase the truth. Our new abnormal means holidays with an empty place at the table. It means unanswered texts and phone calls. It means a shining light in our family has been extinguished. It means life as we knew it has forever changed, and there is not a single thing we can do about it.

I don’t like this new abnormal, and I’ve told the Lord I don’t like it. He understands. After all, He’s God, and this seismic shift in our family didn’t catch Him off guard. And, regardless of how I might feel at this moment, it didn’t catch Him sleeping on the job. He’s here. He’s whispering into our ears that He is the God of all comfort, and He will never leave us alone. He’s speaking the truth of His unfailing love to our hearts. He’s reassuring us with the hope that we will see her again. While we await that day, we will cling to Him and seek to trust Him in the midst of our new abnormal.

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:20-22 (NIV2011)

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TO WHOM SHALL I GO?

“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:67-68)

It’s been 18 days since I received the call that changed our life as we knew it forever. If I close my eyes and shut out the world, I can still hear the hysterical cries of my niece as she told me the horrific news. She’d gotten up and found my other niece lifeless on her couch.

The past 2½ weeks are the very definition of surreal. Nothing about the fact that Gwen is gone has registered in my mind or on my heart yet. I keep telling myself it really happened, but it continues to be a nightmare that I expect to awaken from one day soon. I know it is true. If it weren’t, I could call or text, and she would answer. But that will not happen. This is so surreal.

Today, it hit for a moment, and I had to remind myself that the anger I feel should be directed at the author of death—satan. But it doesn’t mean I won’t struggle. During my quiet time with the Lord this morning, I wrestled with the question “Why?” I know there’ll be no answer this side of heaven. Even when we receive the autopsy results, it still won’t answer the questions we have. Why her? Why now?

This morning, I thought about how best to deal with this incredible loss. Where do I go for help? Who do I turn to for relief?

I thought of the moment when Jesus asked the disciples that poignant question, “You do not want to leave too, do you?”

Earlier in John 6, many had walked away from Jesus. Over the years, I’ve witnessed many Christians who’ve turned away from God during their grief. I don’t judge them because there are moments when I wonder “What’s the use?”

But – today, I recalled Peter’s answer to the question Jesus asked.

“To whom shall we go?”

If I turn away from my Savior during this period of abject pain, where would I go? To whom or what would I turn?

There is no other place to go. He alone is the God of all comfort. He alone is my refuge and strength. He alone walks through the deepest valleys with me. He alone can pour the oil of joy on my intense mourning and bring beauty from these ashes. There is nowhere else to go. He alone is Eternal Life.

Because HE IS, I can hold on to the promise that I will see my niece again one day. Will it be soon enough for me? No, it won’t. And that knowledge that I will see her again will not completely alleviate my pain, but for now, it is all I have.

To whom shall I go?

Today, I’ll choose to go to HIM.

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